Supermouse Bred To Beat Cancer

This morning's Google Headline: "Supermouse Bred To Beat Cancer"




We all know for some years now that cancer and scientists have gone at it like two loose pitbulls in a fighting ring. Well, times have changed and scientists are actually using their brains to win the fight this time.



"We, and I speak for the entire scientific community, are sick and tired, no pun intended, of cancer ruling the roost. We've never had the upper hand and for millions of years, cancer has been spreading itself, gaining popularity throughout the entire corporeal hemisphere. Well...we think this time cancer has spread itself a bit too thin." Dr. Don Browning of UniLab Pharmaceuticals said to the press this morning.



Using the latest in genetic technology, Dr. Browning and his team of scientists and goofballs have created a "Supermouse", one which is believed to have the power to beat cancer. All fingers are crossed as the team has no real evidence that a mouse could actually do such a thing. In praise of their efforts, there was much back patting, ass grabbing and hand shaking after the news conference. And yes, they have chosen the popular cartoon character Mighty Mouse as their fictional representative in this battle against one of the leading causes of death in human beings.



"We think Mighty Mouse is kinda...you know...peppy. Plus, he's strong, so we want a strong figure to represent our research. Everything's a bit touch and go right now." Dr. Browning said.



Next week, in lieu of medicine, scratch and sniff stickers of Mighty Mouse holding his mousey chick will be donated to the Make a Wish Foundation.